Post by Michael K on Dec 28, 2012 10:37:44 GMT -5
Revival
Recently I had my own “revival”. For the past couple of years I was mad at my authorities and was severely backslidden. My anger grew and grew until it exploded into a full out rebellion towards God and authority. Some of the stuff I was into I don’t want to mention but I will name a few just to give you an idea of where I was spiritually. I was into all types of music from pop to heavy metal, I used to curse, have secret friends, cell phones and e-mail accounts my family didn’t know about, I’ve seen and heard things I shouldn’t have, did everything I could to “get back at” and anger my dad, I know what cigarettes and liquor are like, etc. Basically I was a mess. I was mad at God because I felt like he didn’t hear me. I don’t feel it would be right to name why I was mad at my dad and family so I won’t.
I was also extremely selfish and prideful. I wanted what I wanted and nothing else mattered. If you won’t let me have a cell phone, well then I’ll sneak one and have it secretly. I had my ways of doing what I wanted without anyone else knowing. I was living a double life.
Well, anyway, to make a long story short, I started feeling really guilty. So guilty that sometimes I couldn’t sleep at night. Thoughts would race through my head like “Ok, so my dad has his faults and sometimes it would get out of hand but one, no one has perfect parents and two, who cares if he has faults! If it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t even be here, plus he loves you enough to feed you, cloth you, try his absolute hardest to raise you a Godly young man in a safe environment and the most you can do for him is to get him upset everyday for almost the whole day and cause so much stress that it’s effecting the whole family! I’m such a jerk!” I also started feeling even guiltier towards my rebellion towards God. The problem was that after so long of being the “rebellious black sheep” of the family I grew hard, cold and “tough”. I learned to ignore my conscience and feelings I had. Words didn’t affect me at all, pain didn’t effect me at all, I could see my dad upset or my sister sad and it would pass through my mind as “whatever” or “I can’t wait to move out”. My dad would not talk to me for days and I would just laugh. Trust me, nothing effected me. I could be in the midst of cursing, drinking, smoking adults, I didn’t care.
So the guilt kept building and building along with my anger and rebellion. This created so much conflict within me that I got depressed. Since I write music my songs started becoming more and more sad and depressing. I hit a new low in my short 15 years of life. I was actually suicidal for a while.
I started praying hoping God would listen. I would cry at night and silently cry out to God but somehow my black, dark side always won and I would say “Forget You and Christianity”. I wasn’t really trusting in God and putting my Faith in Him.
Then for a little while my sister started telling me about her friend that had her own little “revival”. She had came out of her pit of darkness and started fresh and really started trying to follow God and let Him have His will with her and her life. I knew what she was like before and I was kind of shocked. I’m not going to say what she was into but it was serious.
So, one night my sister and I got on Skype and video called her since we haven’t seen her for at least a year and a half. Afterwards I started chatting with her with IM. WOW! She did change! She started telling me about what she was and what God got her out of. I’ll tell you, I was surprised and honestly I think it was God working through her to get to me! I felt super guilty afterwards. I was at my all time low in life and I felt like there was no point in really living with my family and was actually planning on running away because all I was doing is causing stress in my family. I was the main source of strife and tension in my family. After chatting with her all of a sudden it was like all my sin started “haunting” my mind. I knew God was right by my side and all I had to do was reach out for Him. God knew exactly what He was doing.
Sometimes you need to break something down to the ground in order to build it up again. That night at about 1 AM I felt like, if she can do it I can do it! I went to the bathroom (I wanted total privacy), got on my hands and knees and through tears and guilt I repented (which took a while!)And just told God to just take my entire life, 100% of it and use it for His glory and Honor. For about 30 min after I just stayed in there and cried and prayed! I wanted a revival!
Afterwards I felt renewed and like I just wanted to go hug everyone and yell out “Jesus SAVES!”
Now, I am trying, through God, to change my attitude and be a better, brother, son and child of the King. I will admit, I am struggling a lot! The difference now is that I feel God is listening and working in me! The girl I told you about and I talk with each other about our struggles, we encourage each other and just try to help each other. Our chats have been limited though since she is a girl and I’m a guy. I also have a friend who lives in IL and has been a real encouragement to me.
So that’s my story. Now I want to actually make my point. My story is just one of many like it. No matter how “bad” you are or how far into sin you’ve gone God is right by your side the whole time just waiting for you to realize your sin and to take His hand. He wants you to pour out all your burdens on Him. He will forgive you no matter what sins you’ve committed. Jesus died for you! He went you through so much….. Just to leave you? NO! He died and went through the worst tortures to save you! He will never leave you! He’s there to help you as soon as you ask for it! Don’t let your pride get in the way of allowing Jesus to help you as I did!
I would also like to make another point. America is the homeland of……LUKEWARM CHRISTIANITY! You know the type that sickens God! Everything is so easy here for Christians that we’ve grown week and spoiled. We’ve learned to get along with the world and just be friends instead of being a light and ambassador for Christ!
You know what I hate most and unfortunately I am also guilty of this, Christians who are wannabe lost people! Or Christian who say their Christian but would rather do anything other than praying, reading their Bible and witnessing. Sure you’re a Christian but does the music you listen to glorify God? Or does it glorify love, sexuality, violence this world and sometimes Satan! Do the words you say and hear glorify God? People are being tortured, beaten and killed for their faith in God and here a Christian, under the slightest pressure gives up! It’s like “Sure I’m a Christian! Hang on, let me download the newest Rihanna song and rent out the latest movie which is rated R but it’s not that bad.” So, do you know any verses on salvation or anything? “Ummmmmm,”
I get mad at myself all the time because I fall victim to the same lukewarm garbage!
Another point I’d like to make is, God hears you! It may seem like He doesn’t which is what I felt. We are wrong! He does hear you! He may just be testing your faith. That’s another thing. A lot of the things we go through may just be a test of faith. Unfortunately so many fail.
What we as Christians need is a revival. It doesn’t have to be anything big. I’m talking about within ourselves. As my dad put it, “We need a spiritual power washing! We need to have the filth washed away.”
You may be a wonderful Christian, but every now and then we need to do a super cleaning of our spiritual house! I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. In fact it will be hard. I have the most trouble with worldly music and it’s HARD to not go back to it.
Let me end this article with this. Nothing is impossible through God. We can’t do it ourselves.
Matthew 19:26, ……With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Mark 9:23, ……….. If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
How about we all have a “revival”.
Written by, Michael Khodabash
Recently I had my own “revival”. For the past couple of years I was mad at my authorities and was severely backslidden. My anger grew and grew until it exploded into a full out rebellion towards God and authority. Some of the stuff I was into I don’t want to mention but I will name a few just to give you an idea of where I was spiritually. I was into all types of music from pop to heavy metal, I used to curse, have secret friends, cell phones and e-mail accounts my family didn’t know about, I’ve seen and heard things I shouldn’t have, did everything I could to “get back at” and anger my dad, I know what cigarettes and liquor are like, etc. Basically I was a mess. I was mad at God because I felt like he didn’t hear me. I don’t feel it would be right to name why I was mad at my dad and family so I won’t.
I was also extremely selfish and prideful. I wanted what I wanted and nothing else mattered. If you won’t let me have a cell phone, well then I’ll sneak one and have it secretly. I had my ways of doing what I wanted without anyone else knowing. I was living a double life.
Well, anyway, to make a long story short, I started feeling really guilty. So guilty that sometimes I couldn’t sleep at night. Thoughts would race through my head like “Ok, so my dad has his faults and sometimes it would get out of hand but one, no one has perfect parents and two, who cares if he has faults! If it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t even be here, plus he loves you enough to feed you, cloth you, try his absolute hardest to raise you a Godly young man in a safe environment and the most you can do for him is to get him upset everyday for almost the whole day and cause so much stress that it’s effecting the whole family! I’m such a jerk!” I also started feeling even guiltier towards my rebellion towards God. The problem was that after so long of being the “rebellious black sheep” of the family I grew hard, cold and “tough”. I learned to ignore my conscience and feelings I had. Words didn’t affect me at all, pain didn’t effect me at all, I could see my dad upset or my sister sad and it would pass through my mind as “whatever” or “I can’t wait to move out”. My dad would not talk to me for days and I would just laugh. Trust me, nothing effected me. I could be in the midst of cursing, drinking, smoking adults, I didn’t care.
So the guilt kept building and building along with my anger and rebellion. This created so much conflict within me that I got depressed. Since I write music my songs started becoming more and more sad and depressing. I hit a new low in my short 15 years of life. I was actually suicidal for a while.
I started praying hoping God would listen. I would cry at night and silently cry out to God but somehow my black, dark side always won and I would say “Forget You and Christianity”. I wasn’t really trusting in God and putting my Faith in Him.
Then for a little while my sister started telling me about her friend that had her own little “revival”. She had came out of her pit of darkness and started fresh and really started trying to follow God and let Him have His will with her and her life. I knew what she was like before and I was kind of shocked. I’m not going to say what she was into but it was serious.
So, one night my sister and I got on Skype and video called her since we haven’t seen her for at least a year and a half. Afterwards I started chatting with her with IM. WOW! She did change! She started telling me about what she was and what God got her out of. I’ll tell you, I was surprised and honestly I think it was God working through her to get to me! I felt super guilty afterwards. I was at my all time low in life and I felt like there was no point in really living with my family and was actually planning on running away because all I was doing is causing stress in my family. I was the main source of strife and tension in my family. After chatting with her all of a sudden it was like all my sin started “haunting” my mind. I knew God was right by my side and all I had to do was reach out for Him. God knew exactly what He was doing.
Sometimes you need to break something down to the ground in order to build it up again. That night at about 1 AM I felt like, if she can do it I can do it! I went to the bathroom (I wanted total privacy), got on my hands and knees and through tears and guilt I repented (which took a while!)And just told God to just take my entire life, 100% of it and use it for His glory and Honor. For about 30 min after I just stayed in there and cried and prayed! I wanted a revival!
Afterwards I felt renewed and like I just wanted to go hug everyone and yell out “Jesus SAVES!”
Now, I am trying, through God, to change my attitude and be a better, brother, son and child of the King. I will admit, I am struggling a lot! The difference now is that I feel God is listening and working in me! The girl I told you about and I talk with each other about our struggles, we encourage each other and just try to help each other. Our chats have been limited though since she is a girl and I’m a guy. I also have a friend who lives in IL and has been a real encouragement to me.
So that’s my story. Now I want to actually make my point. My story is just one of many like it. No matter how “bad” you are or how far into sin you’ve gone God is right by your side the whole time just waiting for you to realize your sin and to take His hand. He wants you to pour out all your burdens on Him. He will forgive you no matter what sins you’ve committed. Jesus died for you! He went you through so much….. Just to leave you? NO! He died and went through the worst tortures to save you! He will never leave you! He’s there to help you as soon as you ask for it! Don’t let your pride get in the way of allowing Jesus to help you as I did!
I would also like to make another point. America is the homeland of……LUKEWARM CHRISTIANITY! You know the type that sickens God! Everything is so easy here for Christians that we’ve grown week and spoiled. We’ve learned to get along with the world and just be friends instead of being a light and ambassador for Christ!
You know what I hate most and unfortunately I am also guilty of this, Christians who are wannabe lost people! Or Christian who say their Christian but would rather do anything other than praying, reading their Bible and witnessing. Sure you’re a Christian but does the music you listen to glorify God? Or does it glorify love, sexuality, violence this world and sometimes Satan! Do the words you say and hear glorify God? People are being tortured, beaten and killed for their faith in God and here a Christian, under the slightest pressure gives up! It’s like “Sure I’m a Christian! Hang on, let me download the newest Rihanna song and rent out the latest movie which is rated R but it’s not that bad.” So, do you know any verses on salvation or anything? “Ummmmmm,”
I get mad at myself all the time because I fall victim to the same lukewarm garbage!
Another point I’d like to make is, God hears you! It may seem like He doesn’t which is what I felt. We are wrong! He does hear you! He may just be testing your faith. That’s another thing. A lot of the things we go through may just be a test of faith. Unfortunately so many fail.
What we as Christians need is a revival. It doesn’t have to be anything big. I’m talking about within ourselves. As my dad put it, “We need a spiritual power washing! We need to have the filth washed away.”
You may be a wonderful Christian, but every now and then we need to do a super cleaning of our spiritual house! I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. In fact it will be hard. I have the most trouble with worldly music and it’s HARD to not go back to it.
Let me end this article with this. Nothing is impossible through God. We can’t do it ourselves.
Matthew 19:26, ……With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Mark 9:23, ……….. If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
How about we all have a “revival”.
Written by, Michael Khodabash